Contexts final essay; OGR for 30/11/18
The OGR for my Final Essay, for which I've decided to take a look at Edward Scissorhands.
I was quite torn on this; I wanted to further develop my own theories about conflicting perspective in Repulsion, because I thought it was the most interesting, but I found it difficult to boil down that presentation into a single concise argument, plus I only had one source (although it was an exceptionally good one).
I decided on Edward Scissor hands because I think it had the clearest and most concise argument that could also potentially fit comfortably within the word count.
It's strongly based off my original film review for Edward Scissorhands, but I've tried to condense the information down into an even more concise argument structure that could fit into 1000 words. It seems fairly long, but I honestly believe that each of these paragraphs can be kept quite short and snappy.
I also have tried to take on board the feedback about structure, and order things in a more logical. flowing manner; hence the Key Point summary at the end which sums up the flow of my argument, and hopefully makes sense.
Hey Tom,
ReplyDeleteOkay - so my feedback focuses on ensuring you're reader doesn't experience a disconnect between the film and the theory - and the key paragraph here is your plot synopsis and making sure it sets up the emphasis that follows it. There is a risk in this proposed structure that the reader is told about Edward Scissorhands.... and then the film disappears for four or five paragraphs before returning as its subject. So, your 'plot synopsis' needs to focus on the story of the film as it is told through its built environments - so yes, you give a sketch of the plot, but mostly you describe the film in terms of its architectural oppositions - do that, and the 'onset of modernism' won't in anyway feel as if it has just landed from nowhere.
Another things I noticed in your proposal is a sense of judgement creeping in - so you suggest that Modernists looked at things in an 'incredibly cold' way, but I don't think the Modernists would recognise that characterisation - they had their own logic, that's all; you're job as the writer is to establish that logic for the reader impartially and then bring in other voices that might criticise it; your job is to stay objective and discursive and let your sources 'have it out'.
More broadly, I'm reassured by your intellectual ambition for this assignment - so what I want you to really focus on and polish is the 'delivery mechanism' of your intellectual ambition - so make sure you work on integrating the subject of essay with the ideas you're using to analyse it.
Hey Phil!
DeleteI understand your feedback, I'll make sure that I talk about the architectural oppositions in the synopsis, and point out the architectural styles of the buildings early on so that bringing up Modernism doesn't seem random.
It's hard to talk about Modernism objectively when Tim Burton launches such a scathing criticism of it! I can almost feel his ideas influencing my writing, but yeah, it shouldn't be too difficult to avoid that now I'm aware of it happening.
Thanks!